My daughter Samantha has a friend named Holly. A couple of weeks ago Holly’s mom, Ann, came over to meet me before taking Sam somewhere, just so I’d know who my kid was with. My office is currently full of guitars in various states of repair, so she asked the obvious question, and I said, “I’m learning, and I’m in the middle of trying to rebuild my first, very cheap guitar, when I feel like it.”

She said, “I’ve always wanted to learn to play.” Usually I’m not very sympathetic to “I’ve always wanted to….” But I was like that with guitar for a long time, so I said, “I know. I didn’t think I could, but I finally just bought a cheap guitar and a DVD and jumped in. Then I bought a better guitar as soon as I could and realized I really wanted to keep playing. I don’t know very much, but I’m having a good time.”

I expected that to be the end of it, but last week I was sitting at my desk and I heard girls in the house, and looked up to see Ann standing in my office door. I invited her in and she said, “Where can I buy guitar strings here in town? It’s just for the guitar I bought Holly at Toys R Us, but I thought I’d pluck away at it and then buy a cheap guitar and look for some cheap lessons.” I directed her to Guitar Center for strings, with Amazon for later when she’s buying more at a time. I also pointed her to the library for books and DVDs to learn on her own. Next time I see her I’ll give her some pointers on what to look for and what to avoid in terms of beginner guitars.

Of course, I can’t tell her a lot about gear, except what I bought first and wish I hadn’t [a $60-including-shipping Huntington from eBay that was hard to play], what I wish I had bought first [a Jasmine by Takamine that goes on sale for $70 or $80 or can be bought used for that quite often], and what I bought next [a Dean Tradition Exotica with lacewood back and sides for $139 because it had a tiny chip in the headstock and then all clearance/used gear went on sale and I was watching for a deal].

Ann may decide not to play guitar after all, but she’ll make an active decision, and I’m glad to be a part of that. I’m glad to pass along the gift. I made my active decision after realizing that Denise Jones of Point of Grace, my favorite music group, recently learned to play guitar. I had always wanted to, but never really felt I could. Seeing her do it, I knew I could.

Now, I’m not planning to play guitar in a major band; Denise was already part of a successful group before she learned to play guitar. I just want to play guitar for myself, and that’s what I’m doing. That’s what her achievement convinced me I could do, and I’m glad I inspired someone else to at least think about it seriously.

I did not feel that way on another occasion when, after twenty years of honing my craft as a writer and building my career, I finally reached a major level of success. Someone told me I had “inspired” them and they were going to replicate my efforts by “writing a couple of articles and getting them published” so they would “have the credentials on paper” to “travel around the country speaking and have that travel paid for.”

Oh, sure. It only took me 20 years; you ought to be able to do it in two months. Why not? Write a couple of articles and get them published. Knock yourself out. It only took me about five years to get two articles published; it shouldn’t take you more than five minutes.

I’m flattered when someone is inspired by my actions and wants to take their own actions to get their own results.

When someone just wants my results without any work, and thinks if I can do it it must be easy…not so much flattery, more insulted and infuriated. You don’t get my results without my effort. And I put out prodigious amounts of effort on almost every project I pursue.

But I’m thrilled when I really do inspire someone and move them to see what their own efforts can produce. Whether that’s just plucking away on a Toys R Us guitar or actually taking lessons and learning to play well, it doesn’t really matter. I took up guitar to have fun and learn to write songs. Ann’s goal is probably just to have fun. And I hope she will.

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I talk a lot about only doing what I want to do, and I think sometimes people get the idea that I have this frivolous, slothful life where I only do exactly what I want, and nothing I don’t want to.

I do, and I don’t. You see, right now I would really like to clean toilets, but I can’t.

Yes, clean toilets.

Not that I particularly enjoy cleaning toilets, but no one else in the house does it to suit me, and I enjoy having a clean toilet. But I had major surgery a little less than three weeks ago, and getting up and down out of the floor is still out of my reach. So, I’m going to switch chores with someone else (someone shorter than me, which limits my choices to one), and supervise her in getting the toilets reasonably clean. In return, her clothes will be reasonably folded and reasonably put away.

I hear people say things like, “I don’t ____________ blank because it doesn’t interest me.” That’s one thing if _____________ is learning to rock climb; it’s another thing if it’s maintaining your living environment or your job skills or your mental or physical health.

There are many things that don’t interest me or that I don’t particularly enjoy in and of themselves. I’m not fond of putting gas in my car. In fact, I am fortunate that I hardly ever have to put gas in my car; I have someone in my home who does seem to enjoy the tank-filling ritual in itself. But if my tank is running low and I’m driving, you better believe I want to fill up that tank at the next opportunity.

Yes, I fill my life with things I want to do. Right now I’m finding things I want to do that aid my recovery from my surgery–reading, studying interesting things, learning to play the guitar–and that don’t take a lot of physical activity.

But I understand the importance of wanting to do things because I want the results.

I know we’re told “we can’t always just do what we want to do.”

Yes, I believe we can. “Have what you want but want what you have,” according to one of my favorite songs, “How You Live” by Point of Grace. I believe you can want what you have, and want to do what you need to do.

And when I do that, I can also figure out what things just don’t need to be done. For instance, right now the toilets need to be cleaned, but I think I can live with the dust on the back of the tank. Because I’m willing to fold her clothes, but I’m not willing to clean that room of hers for anything, and I’m not up to any more bathroom cleaning myself right now, either.

I had a friend in college who intimidated the crap out of me.

She also impressed me with her intelligence, poise, humor, confidence and compassion.

Around the intimidating, that is.

Over the years (a lot of them) since leaving college, I’ve sort of molded my personality around who I thought my friend was. I say “sort of” and “thought” because, for starters, it’s been a long time, and also, we never really know another person.

Chances are I’m nothing like she was, or like she wanted to be. But that’s not really the point, you know? At a time when I really wasn’t happy with the life I had, I thought about what I wanted, and I saw, or remembered, someone I admired. I created an image of who I wanted to be, and that’s who I became.

And over time, that image became who I am.

It doesn’t really matter anymore if I am, or am not, like what’s-her-name; in the end I became who I really was. But I like to think she’d like the person I became.

I’ve been reading news and comments lately, since I haven’t been able to work much. I’ve been gobsmacked at the really stupid things people will say.

For instance, I read a really great article cautioning about the different ways credit card companies may increase rates or charge fees while complying with the new laws. A commenter started ranting about usury, and how credit card companies move from states with usury laws to states without (which is a reasonable, legal move on their part). Then he said, “Sure, they have a right to make a profit, but that doesn’t mean they have a right to make as much as they can.”

Actually, it does. As long as they comply with the law, they do have a right to make as much profit as they can. The government has a responsibility to insure that the law protects citizens, and people have a responsibility to understand the terms of the credit cards they use and to pay their bills. And credit card companies, like all businesses, do indeed have a right to make as much profit as they can.

I saw another one tonight. I’ve been following the story about the school district that allegedly spied on students with webcams. I know a lot about computers, and I know a lot about language. The school district’s stories, which have changed several times, don’t ring true.

So I was really interested to hear that the software company that made the "security software" the school keeps talking about, has basically called the school vigilantes and is issuing an update to the software (which is no longer updated, generally) to disable the webcam function).

The first comment on this article said, “So only our government is allowed to spy?”

Uh…yeah. If you don’t like the way our government uses its law enforcement powers, you’re free to lobby your legislators. But yes, only our government, and law enforcement officers, with appropriate authorization, can “spy,” as this commenter put it. And school districts have absolutely no law enforcement power. There is no way, under the Fourth Amendment, that a school district can enter and search a private home without the permission of the homeowner.

Why does this matter? Why can’t we just write these comments off as people who don’t know or care how to form an argument, or who don’t know or care about how the world really works?

Because these are the people who populate the world. These are the people who vote, who make decisions, who work with us and help us run our society. And sometimes, we are these people. We say things without thinking them through.

It’s easier to just say the first thing. It’s easier to say, “There ought to be a law to keep these companies from making so much money.” It’s easier to say, “Well, the kid must have been doing something or the school wouldn’t have needed to spy on him.”

But it’s important to think about the issues and form an argument. Not an argument as in arguing, but an argument as in, a complete thought, a complete answer to the question. Something that stands up. Something you can defend. And something you can amend if it turns out you’re wrong.